10 Learnings From 1+ Year of Daily Journaling
How expressing thoughts & feelings enhanced my self-awareness
Realistically, I thought I’d give up on my half-arsed experiment of journaling after a week or so.
Surprisingly though, it evolved into a sacred practice of self-development — one I plan to maintain for a long time.
As I discussed in Developing A Morning Routine, the outpouring of thoughts empty my mind, stabilise my body and platform me into the day ahead.
I find writing in a journal enhances my state of being and state of mind, making me less hypocritical and avoidant, whilst cultivating greater self-awareness.
Mark Manson talks about how journaling “help(s) us convert what is usually the subject of our consciousness into the object of our consciousness” and how it is a tool “for building self-awareness and chipping away at the ego”.
Similar to how the often eyes-closed practice of meditation impacts one’s eyes-open experience, holding up a mirror to the truth of my inner world brings about growth and transformation in my outer world.
Now, I know journaling won’t appeal to everybody. Whether you have little interest (but enough to have read this far), some curiosity, or you’re very keen to explore, I’d like to sell you on this idea as it’s been so bloody good for me.
I’ll preface my pitch with a short story…
Last time I saw the dentist, they said it would be ideal if I come back in 6 months instead of 12. They’re probably right. I also think most health care practitioners would have a similar approach in (mostly) good faith. It doesn’t mean I’ll do it though. I must weigh up the value proposition of time, money and energy, and a line has to be drawn on these resources at some point.
*I met them in the middle and we’ll be getting reacquainted in 9 months. Reasonable, huh?
Anyway, the point is I could recommend plenty of useful techniques (meditation, exercise, reading, mindful eating, turning off app notifications, etc.) but I can’t resist journaling due to the value proposition it offers me.
Bang for buck, journaling is at the top of my self-development tree, so I hope this low-effort and high-impact tool is a branch you consider on your tree of tools.
For context — before I get into my best journaling takeaways — my simple practice consists of writing five things in the morning: 3x grateful, yesterday I was proud, yesterday’s learning, today I release and today I’m excited, and one thing to wrap my day in the evening: 3x went well.
I’ve learned and re-learned plenty about myself, other people and the world, so in an attempt to synthesise it, here are my 10 key learnings from daily journaling.
#1) No matter what challenges life presents, there are always things to be grateful for
Our society is facing extraordinary changes and challenges, and recently, I’ve gone through the personal devastation of losing a very dear friend.
Without fail though — and with respect to the healing process of myself and those around me — every morning I have 3 things to be grateful for and every night I am able to reflect on 3 things which went well that day.
I can only speak to my personal experience, particularly as grieving is an impossibly multifaceted and individualised process. Amongst the tsunami of emotions which threatened to drown me, I was able to find some small silver linings through the lens of journaling.
Amongst the tsunami of emotions which threatened to drown me, I was able to find some small silver linings through the lens of journaling.
The day after I lost my friend, I wrote how I felt deep love, gratitude and appreciation for the uniquely special connection we had, and for all we shared — and still share — across family, friends and community.
At the time, I wrote what went well for me was not resisting any thoughts or emotions that arose, but instead letting them pour through and out of me.
When we feel overwhelmed by fear, anger, frustration or sadness, we can blind ourselves to good in our lives and around us, but it’s always there. Living through the most challenging experience of my life showed me that there’s still connection, purpose and love if I squint hard enough.
#2) The mind can be tricked into doing great things
In my early journaling days, I struggled to find things to mention under yesterday I was proud, but I have since learned how to remedy that.
Now, I do more things that align with me, challenge me, benefit me or help someone else. In turn, this has provided me with things I can reflect on with real satisfaction.
A recent instance was during the peak of the first major wave of COVID-19 in Melbourne. Even though I hated running and thought I was a terrible runner, I wanted to run.
To self-motivate (and treat myself), I bought a Fitbit to track my performance. I also created a Movember page (and just hit my $1k goal!) to tie in with my running as I’m passionate about men’s health, mental health and suicide prevention.
Fitbit, Movember and the act of running all fed into one another which held me accountable and gave me something to take real pride in on a number of levels.
#3) Small sacrifices now equals far greater benefits in the future
Perhaps it’s just a limiting story I tell myself, but I’ve always seemed to struggle in the mornings.
In my youth, I was sloppy in the morning and my mum was forced to physically rip my bed sheets off on too many occasions.
It’s possible this was due to general apathy and a lack of motivation academically at the time, but I’m super happy, energetic and enthusiastic these days, yet I still wrestle with my mornings.
My morning routine took work, and still does. It’s just so damn easy to snooze my alarm multiple times (linger), stay (overstay) in bed, scroll (addictively) on my phone, ‘chill’ (lack movement) and unconsciously meander.
Reflecting on myself 15 months ago and pre-morning routine, I know I’m now building some great habits (cold showers, meditating, movement, no social media, limited tech, lots of water) that flow into different parts of my life.
*I still loiter at times. If I’m a natural born lingerer, then thank god my partner Ali is a natural born killer in the mornings — one of those sickos who jumps out of bed to the sound of their alarm. I recognise we can all need a recharge at times, but deep down I know when I’m indulging in lazy behaviour. Work in progress… let’s chat in 15 months’ time.
#4) Undesirable self-talk, behavioural patterns and conditioning can be unwound
I have grandparents and great grandparents who lived through WWII and The Holocaust and it’s unfathomable to imagine what they went through. Their experiences might explain why they value life, hard work, and most relevant to this piece, food.
For as long as I can remember it’s been drilled into me to finish everything on my plate. I know it comes from a loving place, but it’s a mindset I’m trying to shift.
If there was a podium for recidivist behaviors under yesterday’s learnings, the bronze would go to not overusing and abusing tech and social media. Silver would go to releasing bad eating habits and gold would be draped around the neck of remembering to consciously breathe as an anchor for… everything.
Specific to food, a large part of my progression has come from zooming in on these habits through writing about them.
I’ve got a long way to go, but today, I cook more, I eat more healthily, I have better portion control and I’m more mindful of my consumption, food waste and environmental impact.
#5) Energy, intent and actions heavily influence what the world offers in return
I trust in the idea of getting out what you put in and I’m constantly amazed at how setting clear intentions and holding myself accountable to them manifests in my reality.
I’m sure we’ve all experienced the satisfaction of doing something challenging or being kind to someone and receiving it back in spades. The universe tends to send things back our way.
Often, under today I release, I am letting go of toxic habits around food, social media, technology, judgement, expectations and triggers. These tend to improve if I’m consciously aware of them via journaling, and I’m making significant progress on all.
On a day off from work, I often write about releasing ‘doing’, but instead just ‘being’. Having his one focal point keeps me zoned in, instead of getting side-tracked in life’s rat race of acquiring and achieving.
I often write about releasing ‘doing’, but instead just ‘being’. Having this one focal point keeps me zoned in, instead of getting side-tracked in life’s rat race of acquiring and achieving.
#6) Journaling is free market research and data collection on the self
I had some idea about my strengths/weaknesses and likes/dislikes, but my daily writing process consolidates what I already know, alongside fresh pieces of information.
Writing every day shines a light on this. Combine this with COVID-19 stripping back options and forcing introspection, and that clarity of light shines very brightly.
I now know… any time I’m in water, nature, outdoors or active is golden; how balancing time alone, with Ali and with family/friends is crucial to protect my bandwidth; the ease with which I can unconsciously hook into pseudo tech productivity holes; my desire for at least one to two creative personal projects to be always rolling over.
I find writing releases me and sharing it scares me. Reading soothes me and meditation quietens me. Cooking both challenges and enlivens me. Playing sport is blissful for me and helping others fulfils me.
#7) One cannot serve others sustainably if they do not serve themselves first
Lea Waters AM, PhD, refers to having a ‘mental health bank account’ whereby you can withdraw or deplete from your account (the self) and deposit it into another account (giving to others) if you have strong enough mental health savings. Simple analogy, and one that makes a lot of sense to me.
As I’ve developed a clearer picture of my wants and needs over the last 15 months, I fulfil them more efficiently, effectively and sustainably. In turn, I’ve found I store up more energy to really be there for people when they are in need.
Selfish is considered a dirty word by many, but it shouldn’t be in all contexts. It may seem counter-intuitive to be selfish so that you are selfless, but we cannot give from an empty well. There’s no yin without yang.
#8) Serving others is the ultimate self-service
I’ve always been very empathetic (thanks, mum), but I was self-absorbed in my teens and early-mid 20’s. I was entitled, and often, I’d only do things for people if I expected to get something in return.
*Reasonably, I still have aspects of this give-take mindset (what human doesn’t?!) and I question if anything is TRULY selfless. Perhaps the love/protection a mother has for their child is as close as we can get? I’ve digressed…
There are many reasons why I’ve evolved beyond my past self, but the biggest might be stepping outside of me and entering into a larger world of we. It’s corny and cliché, but I’m learning how the secret to living is giving.
An obvious standout for me is running Soul Talk events through Integral Melbourne. Empowering people to process their inner world is magic, and the depth of vulnerability and transformations we witness light me up like nothing else in my life.
#9) Life is never boring — it’s potent as fuck
Journaling reiterates to me how simple things can have intense significance if I pay close attention to them, e.g. writing or voicing my gratitude for a person or what went well for me that day, eating slowly without distraction or breathing deeply and observing physical sensations in my body.
It highlights thankfulness to my close circle of people for all they offer me; how tiny moments or shifts in attitude can lead to massive changes; lifelong attitudes and behaviours I want to shake; my idealistic hopes and dreams; how so much is happening and could be happening in my life and around me at any one time.
#10) Our truth is undeniable and inescapable
I can try to avoid, neglect or suppress areas of my life, but as my meta-cognitive awareness increases via journaling, it’s becoming harder to hide from my patterns, behaviours and ultimate truth.
Regardless of any people or experiences I could deflect to or scapegoat from my past, at the end of the day, it all comes down to me.
People can help to create a framework for me, but no one can make me do anything or make decisions for me. Only I can truly understand every single little bit of myself. I am responsible and accountable for my choices. I am in full control of my actions and behaviours. I am the master of my domain.
Ahh, writing that was liberating, particularly at the end.
We may be on individual journeys of self-discovery, but we are one and the same and — I can’t believe I’m going to say 2020’s classic political one-liner — we are all in this together.
Whether it’s journaling or some other self-reflective technique, I really hope this piece motivates you to find ways to open up honest and exploratory dialogue with yourself.
If you have any comments, questions or this has been of benefit to you, I’d love to hear about it!
