🧨 This is a potentially triggering post about the ineffectiveness of trigger warnings.
Okay, so I do think people are trying to be considerate when they offer a trigger warning… But it usually feels like a platitude that causes more harm than good.
To me, trigger warnings can feel similar to scripted acknowledgements of country, generic ‘happy birthday’ posts on social media, or when people say “I don’t mean to be racist, but…” and then abdicate responsibility and go on a racist tirade. Yes, those instances are VERY different, but the commonality is they’re examples of not truly meaning what we say or saying what we mean.
This bugs me because I have said SO MANY things I didn’t mean and I am working hard to change this.
From everything I’ve learned, humans benefit from a healthy level of exposure to uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. In this episode of The Imperfects (https://lnkd.in/gmyT3kR4), Psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove advocates for working through challenging topics, not avoiding discomfort and developing skills to tolerate distress.
Some argue trigger warnings give people a chance to opt out, but I’ve never seen this happen across hundreds of workshops, trainings and events I’ve attended. Perhaps people don’t want to feel like an outlier or our curiosity kicks in (like a car crash we feel we can’t look away from).
Others say trigger warnings give people time to prepare, but the research indicates otherwise. Firstly, Dr. Emily explains we may experience ‘anticipatory anxiety’ about what’s to come. Secondly, the belief that trauma is a central part of our identity may get strengthened — instead of ‘X trauma happened to me’, it can become ‘X trauma IS me’.
Triggers warnings and disclosures is complex terrain, so how can we navigate it? I’m fortunate to facilitate a lot of spaces that feature vulnerable sharing and potentially triggering material, so if you’re curious about my approach, read on.
I don’t explicitly say a ‘trigger warning’ to participants (because I feel this term actually elicits triggers, in and of itself). I may use the term ‘content warning’ if needed, which feels more light touch. I recognise anything could trigger anyone at any time, so right near the beginning of my workshops, I’ll explain if we’ll touch on heavy themes and confronting topics and there may be big disclosures shared.
I ask people to go as slow as they can, be gentle with themselves and others, do whatever feels right for them and to never hesitate to seek out support from me or others at any time throughout or post-workshop. To make this feel practical and accessible, I empower the participants to lead the creation of our shared group etiquette. If the group doesn’t mention it themselves, one element I’ll always define and give examples about is what I call ‘mindful disclosures’.
My frame-up is asking people before they disclose a story or experience to first consciously check with themselves; “am I comfortable to talk about this topic?”, and if yes, “how much or how little of this do I want to share?” Then, I ask they zoom out to the rest of the group and ask themselves; “does this feel appropriate and/or beneficial for the group to hear?”
I’ll have already shared about my friend’s suicide by this point of the workshop, so the example illustrated is how I’ve shared my experience as it’s important context for why I do this work, but I didn’t mention certain details (e.g. the suicide method) which I deem to be psychologically unsafe. I explain this is the line I draw, and they can determine whatever line feels comfortable for them.
